


Perfectly Purple

by Flexor



Category: Barney and Friends
Genre: Food chain, Gen, Horror, anthropophagy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-12-25 08:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/950695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flexor/pseuds/Flexor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When sweet innocent Jeannie Wilkinson is admitted as a Friend of Barney, it seems like all of her dreams have come true.</p>
<p>Remember some of your dreams?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfectly Purple

**Author's Note:**

> I'm procrastinating. This is another one that's been clattering round my hard drives for ages. It's an exercise in how much subtext you can cram in between the lines.

"Very good, Mrs. Wilkinson. The money will be in your account within the hour. Congratulations. You are now the mother of one of the Friends of Barney."

"Oh thank you, Mr. Smith! I always knew something special was in store for my Jeannie. Today is the happiest day of my life! What about you, Jeannie?"

The blonde, eight-year-old girl smiled, and nodded. "The best of my life too!"

"Good, good." Mr. Smith looked down on the young girl, and grinned at her. "Now follow the nice man, Jeannie, and soon... you will meet Barney! Isn't that fantastic?"

"It sure is, Mr. Smith. Well, see you in a few weeks, Mum!"

Mrs. Wilkinson hugged her daughter.

"I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. So glad that your dancing lessons, yoga, singing class and the work on your cute little nose have finally paid off!" She continued in a whisper. "Now don't let anyone throw you out. I'm not refunding anything, understand? You stay the full eight weeks or there'll be trouble."

"Yes, Mum."

"Good girl. Bye bye, now."

Mrs. Wilkinson gave Mr. Smith a brilliant smile.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Smith."

"And you, Ma'am," said Mr. Smith. He put a hand on Jeannie's blonde curls.

"Right, Jeannie. Are you ready to have your dreams come true?"

"Oh _yes_ Sir!" 

* * *

Jeannie unpacked her things into the small bedside cabinet. Three pretty dresses, under-things, ribbons for her hair, dancing shoes. When she looked up, she saw one of the other girls sitting on her bed. She was at least eight-and-a-half. She was wearing a blue dress, and plaits in her light brown hair.

"Hi! I'm Gabrielle," she said. "What's your name?"

"Jeannie. Hi!"

"Would you like to be my friend, Jeannie?" Gabrielle's pearly smile didn't even flicker. "You really do, if you want to live."

Jeannie blinked. "Sorry?"

"I'm sure we'll be best friends in no time! Everybody needs friends!" Again, the whisper. "Or they get taken."

Jeannie frowned. Gabrielle quickly pushed her face towards the wall.

"Don't do that! Are you trying to get us killed?"

"What?"

"Smile, stupid! Because everybody is happy when Barney's around!"

"What are you..."

"Smile! Do it! Now!"

Something in Gabrielle's voice made Jeannie stop questioning, and she bared her perfectly white teeth in a cute smile that dimpled her cheeks.

"Oh, _dimples_! Thank God!"

"What?"

"Look, there's no time to explain. Just... be as cute as you can, and do what I say, and you may just make it to the end of the day." 

* * *

Someone clapped her hands, and all the girls looked round. A large woman was standing in the middle of the room. She was wearing a long, practical black dress with a white apron.

"Hello, my sweethearts! I am Mrs. Pomeroy, and if there is anything you girls need, I am here to help you get it."

One of the other girls looked up, tears in her dark brown eyes.

"I wanna go home!"

Mrs. Pomeroy's head swivelled round, and her eyes locked onto the girl.

"But my dear, you haven't even seen Barney yet!"

"Oh no," whispered Gabrielle.

Jeannie looked at her. "What?"

"Shut up and keep smiling."

The brown-haired girl sniffed. "I don't wanna see him. I think he's stupid. I wanna go home!"

Gabrielle's smile looked like it was made of stone.

"Oh man," she said, through clenched teeth, "She's dead."

Mrs. Pomeroy gently stroked the girl's brown hair.

"Barney isn't stupid, sweetheart! Whatever made you say that? I know what! I'll take you to him now, and _then_ if you still want to go home, you can." She stood up. "The rest of you girls, get settled in. Dinner's almost ready."

Jeannie followed Gabrielle to her bed, and sat down next to her.

"What was that all about?"

"That girl," said Gabrielle, "Is not long for this show. You never, never, _ever_ say that Barney is stupid. Right. Now listen to me. This is important. You'll find out soon enough, but let's try to get you through this evening."

"I don't understand," said Jeannie.

"You will. What's your favourite colour?"

"Uh... blue," said Jeannie, looking at her pretty dress.

"No it isn't. It's purple."

"No. It's really blue."

Gabrielle glared at her. "No, it's purple, because Barney is purple. And you _love_ Barney."

"Oh come on. He's a guy in a suit."

Gabrielle slowly shook her head. "No. He. Isn't."

"I've seen him on the telly. You can see the stitches."

"They put those on to fool the parents. He is really a dinosaur." Gabrielle's eyes bored into Jeannie's. "A meat eater."

"Eww! I'm a vegetarian! Meat is gross! It comes from little baby calves."

" _His_ meat comes from little boys and girls."

"What?!" Jeannie stared at Gabrielle's face. Though she was still smiling happily, she looked serious. "You're kidding, right?"

"No. His meat comes from... us. Probably from that girl you saw. Good. Better her than you or me. I'm offering you a deal. You need to wise up quick, or you're dino-food. I need someone to watch my back. Deal?"

Jeannie stared at Gabrielle's face.

"You're trying to make me look stupid. You want me off this show. No way sister! I wasn't born yesterday."

"Right. I'll make you a bet. That brown-haired girl? We won't see her again." 

* * *

There was the noise of two hands clapping, and Mrs. Pomeroy came in the door. She put her hand on the shoulder of the girl they'd seen earlier.

"Children? You'll be happy to know that Cindy has decided to stay with us after all."

Jeannie raised a perfect little eyebrow at Gabrielle. "Well? So much for your story!"

Gabrielle's perfectly cute smile froze as looked at the girl.

"Oh man..."

Jeannie chuckled. "What? Did you really think..."

"Look at her. She's got it bad."

Cindy's eyes were turned up slightly above everybody's head. A doped-up smile was on her cheeks, and she was gently rocking her head to the left and to the right, almost as if dancing to music unheard.

"Got _what_ bad?"

"The Buzz," said Gabrielle. "She's been near him. He sweats something that makes you happy."

"First," said Jeannie, "Eww. And second, what's wrong with being happy?"

Gabrielle looked round at Jeannie, and her smile flickered for the briefest of moments.

"When you've got the Buzz, someone can be gnawing off your arms and legs, and you'll _still_ be happy."

Jeannie studied Gabrielle's face. She'd already told her that she didn't believe her. She hadn't won the Nebraska Miss Toddler award by letting people get one over on her. But this girl, Gabrielle, she looked almost... scared.

"Gabrielle? Just what's going on here?"

"Can't talk now. Dinner's ready. Remember. Be cute. Be adorable. Be alive tomorrow morning." 

 

"Isn't this the best meal you've ever had in your _life_?" The brown-skinned Mexican girl took a big bite. "Yum!"

"Sure is, Giuliana," said Gabrielle.

Jeannie looked at her plate. Chicken. Boiled potatoes. Cauliflower with cheese. She'd tried not to have any of the chicken, but Gabrielle had given her a look and warned her not to make waves. She'd tried a bit. Didn't taste _too_ bad, but... it came from an animal. She was eating something _dead_. Luckily, she had a big helping of potatoes.

"This is the white cauliflower, though," said another of the Mexican girls. "I hear they have purple broccoli. That'd be fantastic! Purple is my favourite colour!"

Gabrielle elbowed Jeannie.

"Right," she whispered. "If someone asks you about your favourite colour, change the subject, or they'll think you're copying Conchita."

"Whatever," said Jeannie. "Want some of my chicken?"

"Sure." 

* * *

"Right. Move over."

Jeannie did, and Gabrielle got into bed with her, pulling the blanket up so she wouldn't be seen.

"You've made it through the first evening," said Gabrielle. "Good. Now, I have time to talk."

Gabrielle's eyes turned to Jeannie's. "You won't believe some of the stuff I'm going to tell you. That's fine. I didn't either, but I believed enough to keep me alive till now."

"Aren't you taking this a bit too far?"

"No. Now listen. Tomorrow's showtime. There'll be three or four girls and three boys, and we get to play. Probably painting. We did dress-up last time. Can you sing? Dance?"

"Won prizes. Mom's ever so proud of me when I win."

"I'm sure she is. Good. There's going to be singing and dancing. Pretty easy stuff, so don't worry too much. They're going to film us doing it, and they make pots of money showing it on the telly. People on the telly want to see cute kids having lots of fun, and that's what we're giving them... or else."

Jeannie sighed, and obliged. "Or else what?"

"Only the cutest kids get to stay on the show. The others are never seen again."

"They get sent home?"

Gabrielle slowly shook her head.

"They get fed to Barney."

Jeannie simply stared at Gabrielle.

"You're mad."

"I'm breathing. If you don't want to believe it, go ahead. Now the most important thing. They're going to want you to hug Barney on the show. When you do, _hold_ _your_ _breath_ , or you'll get the Buzz like that Cindy girl." Gabrielle gave Jeannie a pleading look. "Please. Even if you don't believe anything I say, remember that. You don't want the Buzz. It lasts for a week and you can't think straight." Gabrielle shuddered. "And you can't live for a week here, not thinking straight. Please Jeannie. I need someone to watch my back here. Marie was taken last week. I need you. You need me." 

* * *

The next morning, the girls were up bright and early. They had just had their breakfast (cereal for Jeannie, thank God, no icky ham or fattening eggs), and were gently nudged towards the play area. As Gabrielle had predicted, it was painting. Jeannie had had painting classes, and did something naive with pastel tints. At Gabrielle's whispered warnings, she'd added something purple, even though it didn't go at all with the rest of the composition and stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Good," said Gabrielle. "That way even the numbskulls can't miss it. Oh God, look sharp. Here he is. Remember. Deep breath, hug, get clear, breathe."

Without any warning, he was there. The Purple One. Barney. Jeannie looked. Now that Gabrielle had warned her, she could see it. He did have seams and stitches, but they had been put on there, and weren't really necessary. She looked at his head. He had two large teeth, that bent all round his large mouth. His small eyes gleamed. Strange deep noises came from the Dinosaur. Next to her, Jeannie heard the nice brown-skinned girl take a few quick breaths, then yell.

"Barney!"

She ran forward, and put her arms as far as they would go round the enormous green-and-purple bulk. In a moment, so did Gabrielle. Jeannie shrugged to herself, took a deep breath and followed suit. 

 

The boys were nice enough, always courteously handing her crayons or pieces of paper, but for some reason, the camera wasn't on them quite as often as on the girls. Jeannie kept her brilliant smile up for what seemed _hours_. Finally, they were brought back to the living area. Jeannie sat down on her bed and opened her bedside cabinet. She wanted her music. Strange. She was sure she'd put it in the drawer. Where was it? Gabrielle walked by.

"What's up?"

Jeannie by now knew not to frown, so she didn't. She looked at Gabrielle.

"Can't find my MP3 player. I've put loads of music on there."

Gabrielle sighed.

"One of the chicas probably stole it."

Jeannie raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't you being a bit racist?"

"Not really. They really do that. To be fair, some of the Gringo girls steal their stuff. When you see one of them with your things, whatever you do, don't try to get it back. Accusing other girls of stealing is very _very_ uncute."

"Is it as uncute as stealing the stuff in the first place?"

"It's _both_ uncute. So you both get thrown to the Purple."

Jeannie gave Gabrielle a look.

"You know, I still don't believe that."

"Just wait till it happens. I still think Cindy's gonna be lunch."

The girls looked over. Cindy was sitting on the bed, happily humming to herself. Not a care in the world. Gabrielle walked over and waved a hand in front of her face. Cindy beamed at her.

"O _hi_ , Gabrielle! Isn't today _great_?"

"Sure is, Cindy! Hey, there's a big spot on your face, just above your eye."

"There is? Is it a _purple_ spot?"

"Lovely light purple."

"Oh _great_! Purple is my favorite colour!"

Gabrielle grinned, watched Cindy rock back and forth a while, then returned to Jeannie.

"See what I mean?"

"Weird."

"Yeah, so don't breathe in when you hug him, right?" 

* * *

When the girls woke up, Cindy wasn't there. Her bed was neatly made up, her things were gone, just like she'd never been there. Mrs. Pomeroy walked into the room, her normal friendly smile on her face.

"Good morning children! And how is everyone this morning?"

Before Gabrielle could stop her, Jeannie jumped off her bed, and raised a hand.

"Excuse me miss, but where's Cindy?"

Mrs. Pomeroy bent down, and bent over Jeannie. Her breath smelled funny. Her strong yellow teeth were showing.

"Who, dear?"

Jeannie looked up, and at that moment _knew_. She knew, from the bottom of her heart, exactly what had happened to little home-sick Cindy. She wished, _really_ wished, that she'd never asked. But she could only go forward, not back.

"Cindy. Has she gone home?"

Mrs. Pomeroy raised herself to her full height, and ran her fingers through Jeannie's blonde hair.

"Yes, dear. She didn't want to stay anymore."

Jeannie felt Mrs. Pomeroy's nails scratching the top of her head.

"But luckily you want to stay, don't you?"

"Oh _yes_ Miss! This is the best place in the whole world!"

"Good girl," said Mrs. Pomeroy. She gave Jeannie a meaningful look, turned round and led the girls to the dining room. Gabrielle poked a finger in Jeannie's back.

"Are you _trying_ to get us killed?"

Jeannie shuddered.

"Sorry."

"Won't cut it. Pay attention. _Please_."

"I will." 

 

The days went by. Jeannie and Gabrielle watched each other's backs as well as they could. There were parties, stage shows, which Gabrielle was _very_ good at, dancing, craft, though that was a bit boring as they never got to make anything interesting. One of the things that had surprised Jeannie at first was that Barney didn't actually have a voice. He just made strange mooing and growling animal noises. Gabrielle explained that a guy came in later and did the voice. She'd also had to get used to the Background Parents. They looked just like normal people, but when she had walked up to one of them, in a recording break, he hadn't even seen her. They simply went about their business, with creepy, unseeing eyes.

Jeannie avoided the Mexican girls. One of them, named Conchita, had grinned at her, waving _her_ MP3 player at her. Gabrielle had grabbed her arm.

"Ignore her. It's not worth it. Trust me."

"I'll get her for this," said Jeannie.

"If you do, be _very_ careful. Barney gets the uncute ones."

"Yeah... he does, doesn't he?"

Gabrielle gave Jeannie a hard look.

"Like I said. Don't get us killed. Also..." Gabrielle turned her back on the other girls, pulling Jeannie away with her. "You don't want too many chicas to get taken."

"Why not?"

"Well, the programme needs as many chicas as it needs gringos. So they try to keep as many brown girls as they have white ones. They do that because they're not allowed to discriminate."

"Hold on. I haven't seen any black girls," said Jeannie. "Or boys for that matter."

Gabrielle shrugged. "The Mexican girls are probably dark enough."

"Must be. Oh. Time for dinner. Swap you some chicken for some potatoes?"

"Sure." 

* * *

Mrs. Pomeroy clapped her hands. "Good morning Children! Today is an extra special day! Guess what? There's going to be new friends to play with."

All the girls cheered. By now, they knew what was good for them. Nobody wanted to be the uncute one that went to see Barney on her own. About half an hour later, the new girls came in. Gabrielle's smile froze.

"Oh no. No, no _no_!"

Into the room walked three pale-skinned girls, one with brown hair, one with black, and one redhead with a front tooth missing. At the back was one Asian girl.

Jeannie looked at Gabrielle.

"What's the matter?"

"Three Gringos, and only one brown girl. That means the next one to go for the private visit will be a white girl."

"So let's make sure it's not us, right?"

For the first time in the few weeks she'd been there, Jeannie saw Gabrielle's smile fade. Tears were in her eyes.

"Do you know how old I am?"

"Um... eight?"

"Eight years, ten months." Gabrielle looked at Jeannie, and her lips were trembling. "Nobody here is nine. _Nobody_. Not even Gianna lived to be nine."

"Oh come on. You're cute. Super cute! You'll be fine."

"Used to live at the farm. Cattle farm. Saw the cows go to slaughter. They use a machine to knock them out before they slaughter them. Do you think they'll..."

"Gabrielle! You're _not_ going to be fed to... him. I won't let them!"

Gabrielle looked at Jeannie, tears slowly trickling down her face, teeth chattering.

"Don't... do anything stupid, Jeannie. You've got _months_ if you're lucky. Don't..."

Mrs. Pomeroy clapped her hands.

"Places everybody! Here we go! Smiles!"

Barney entered the playground. Gabrielle swallowed, turned her face to Jeannie.

"Thank you, Jeannie. Thank you so much, for everything."

"What?"

Gabrielle ran forward, to the Purple One.

"Gabrielle! No!"

Gabrielle wrapped her arms round Barney. Jeannie looked in horror as she took one, then two, then three deep breaths.

"Gabrielle..." whispered Jeannie. 

 

Jeannie walked slowly to Gabrielle's bed. One look was enough. Gabrielle was gone. Gone far, far away, never to return. Her eyes were glazed over. Jeannie put her hand on her cheek, and for a tiny moment, she could see the spark of recognition in those vacant blue eyes.

"Jeannie! Hi!"

"Gabrielle. Why?"

"You're my best friend, Jeannie! Apart from Barney of course. He's my _very_ best friend."

In the morning, Gabrielle's bed was empty. 

* * *

Nobody had done it before. Nobody had _wanted_ to do it before. But Jeannie was determined. Someone came by every Friday to collect the laundry, in big big baskets. All Jeannie had to do was to hide in one of the baskets, and get out before they chucked all their dirty clothes into the washing machine. Risky, but better than the certainty of death. First, though, there was something to do. She got her chance in the Pirates' story. Conchita was to climb the rigging together with Jeannie, singing a jolly sailors' song. It went perfectly. Jeannie and Conchita (In their Perfectly Purple Pirate outfits) both climbed up into the mast, and when they got to the very top, Jeannie, her body between the camera and Conchita, grabbed her wrist. A little pull was all she needed. Conchita screamed as she fell out of the mast and landed on her back on the deck. Her brown eyes shot fire at Jeannie, who was still all the way up, her blue eyes big with pretend fright.

"Conchita?! Are you hurt?"

Just as Mrs. Pomeroy came up, Conchita exploded.

"You _pushed_ me, you little _puta_! _Hija_ _de_ _cerdas_!"

Mrs. Pomeroy, who had been on holiday to Spain on several occasions, knew enough Spanish to understand what Conchita was saying, and it made her face turn pale and hard. Jeannie looked down on Conchita, and for the briefest of moments, her terrified expression flickered into a smile. Then, she grasped the rigging with an iron grip.

"I'm scared! Someone get me down!"

The next morning, there was no sign Conchita had ever been there. 

* * *

Jeannie heard the motor of the van stop, and as quick as she could, she climbed out of the wash basket. As the big man who did their laundry opened the back of the van, she hid behind the baskets. When the first two baskets were gone, she slipped out quietly. She ran up to the first policeman she saw.

"I'm Jeannie Wilkinson! I'm lost! I want my mummy!" 

 

The nice police lady knocked on her door. It opened. Jeannie's jaw dropped. This was not her mother! It was some strange woman Jeannie had never seen in her life! The police lady put a hand on Jeannie's blonde hair and smiled.

"Did she leave a forwarding address, Ma'am?"

"No. You police. You fuck yourself."

"Mind your language, Ma'am. There's a minor present."

"Get lost."

The door slammed shut. Jeannie looked up at the police woman, and felt near to crying. The police woman knelt down and brushed Jeannie's tears away.

"Don't worry, Jeannie. We'll find your mummy. Just you wait." 

 

The door they knocked on was in a much better neighborhood than the one she'd lived in all her life, but the woman who opened the door was Jeannie's mother alright. Jeannie almost didn't recognise her. Her hair was now blonde, and... something else about her was different. The top she was wearing seemed somehow... tighter than it had been. She looked inside. The man, who was fastening his belt, certainly was not her daddy!

"Mummy?"

Mrs. Wilkinson recovered marvellously.

"Jeannie! Oh my God, where heve you _been_? Come in! Come in! Oh thank you, Miss. I've been worried sick about her! Thank you _so_ much for bringing my sweet daughter back to me!"

The door closed, and Mrs. Wilkinson rounded on her daughter.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?"

"I'm home, Mum."

"I can see you're home! Why the hell aren't you at the studio making the world a cuter place? If Mr. Smith finds out, he'll ask for all his money back!"

"Mum! Barney eats children!"

"So? Just make sure it's not you. You, young lady, are going straight back. I like this life, and you're not screwing it up for me." 

* * *

Jeannie was so happy. So very happy. She was with Him. All alone. Just imagine that. She had Barney _all_ to _herself_. What could be better? Music rang in her ears, and the most beautiful shades of purple and green danced, swirled before her eyes. The words came to her, the only words in the _world_ that made any sense at all. 

  
I love you  
You love me  
We're a happy family  
With a great big hug  
And a kiss from me to you  
When you say...  


 

Barney put his beautiful short arms round her, and bent over her. 


End file.
